Choose your confidence

I've never told this story before.

I was born with a dark brown lumpy birthmark that covered
half my left cheek. My mother, heartbroken at the thought of her

daughter living a life being teased and ostracized, put me in my cot,

offending cheek down against the blankets.

My grandmother (God bless her), giant and garrulous, when

she came to visit me in the hospital, strode in to the room and

commanded my mother, "Penny - don't you hide that child - she's

a gorgeous little girl and you ought to show her with pride."

Something snapped in to place for my mum and never again did

she for one instant allow a thought of fear or worry about my social
acceptance creep in to her presence with me. At least, I never
felt it.

As it turned out, I was an independent and confident child.

I showed signs of leadership and was made Captain of the Patrols

in Grade Six (though my sister loves to point out that I was full of
double standards and would run across the zebra crossing
instead of walking).

As for my birthmark, I had plastic surgery when I was three

to remove the lumpy, potentially cancerous skin. The skin graph did

not take and I was several months in hospital, left with a mangled
brownish scar the diameter of a potato. Later, at the age of
thirteen, I had another experimental operation called a 'flap
rotation' which did some nifty shifting of the skin that left me
with the scar I have today - along my cheek under my eye,
and down along my smile line. My niece calls it the 'triangle'.

I was called 'Scarface' for a while on the bus to school. But the

name just bounced right off me. The movie with Al Pacino was a
cool movie! So that one failed to leave its mark.

I never let my scar hold me back. It never occurred to me that it
would be a hindrance. If anything, I tried harder at everything
to prove that it really did not matter. And it didn't. I had many
boyfriends - they never cared.

I'm not saying that I never cried tears of self-pity. I did. I was a
teenager full of angst - over many things. But crying under the
covers never made me feel any better. So I'd pull myself out of
bed and get on with it. There were more exciting things to focus
on, like my next canoe trip and summer on the lake.

One day I met a girl who had a tiny hare lip - her lip curled up
with a small distortion. She had rounded shoulders and furtive,
scared eyes. She was constantly embarrassed to meet people
lest they stare at her lip. My heart went out to her. I too had a
facial deformity, but never let this keep me from a life of joy,
pleasure, love, and freedom. It was a conscious and subconscious
choice to live life to the fullest - in whatever package I had arrived in.

Here was this beautiful girl, slender like a waif with lovely brown
hair, afraid to say hello. And all she had to do was choose:

confidence or fear. But she didn't know she could, and she didn't

know how.

From this moment I felt a passionate need to help others discover

their inner strength - mind, focus, and feelings. I started working

with young people at Camp Stephens in Canada, leading canoe trips

to help kids discover their inner resilience and beauty. My career

choices have always been about this - helping others discover and

access their inner strength.

You see, whether it's a hare lip, or a scar, or some other blight on the

soul or body, we all have this amazing magical instrument - a gift from

God - our mind. Through it we make our life on earth a divine heaven

or a living hell. All you've got to do is choose.

Life is a brief, beautiful song - sing it loud and strong.

Yes, you are truly beautiful.

Zoe

I was inspired to put this together for you because
of the generosity you showed in your candid

disclosures on the survey.

Details here:
http://www.innercompass.com.au/content/view/224

Monday June 2nd, 2008, 8pm EST
(June 3rd, 2008 10am Sydney EST)

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