Compass Bearings Vol 5.20

In this edition:

Main article: The energy of forgiveness
Stuff that works: Law of Attraction Superhighway, The organising place
Featured Link: Sparkling Misadventures
Book Review: Lynne McTaggart's The Intention Experiment
Laser thoughts

Note from Zoë

Hi there

It's been a wild couple of weeks! Law of Attraction Superhighway has
launched and is galloping along nicely, I'm getting the hang of my new
Mac, the new bookshelf is loaded with all my wonderful books, and the
new blinds are fantastic. And how about the new format of this
newsletter?! Comments welcome.

Upgrading is a fabulous thing, and not without some challenges along the
way. Some of you only received the subscription confirmation recently
due to a funny technical glitch (one of the names had an oomlout on an 'e'
- like this - ë) and this derailed the whole process for days.
Ahhh...computers...

There has also been a strong theme running through my client calls
recently: forgiveness. And as I was in need of doing some forgiving with
the computer stuff, here is the latest and greatest on the energy of
forgiveness.

Enjoy!

Zoë

P.S. If you were one of the lucky folks who received an opt in message
with a greeting such as, %/yourname etc please know that I was not
swearing at you - this was me learning the new software. Thanks for
having a sense of humour with this one!

Main Article: The energy of forgiveness

When I was at wedding recently, a friend apologised for an incident that had occurred 8 years ago. I couldn't believe it! I had forgiven her years ago and now count her as one of my favourite people on planet earth. I adore her and only want the best for her and her family.

All this time she'd been hanging on to guilt, remorse, and shame. As for me, I'd moved on happily with my life.

At the time, the events were painful to be sure. Suffice to say it involved a
boy, 'Fred' and my friend 'Gabrielle'. This was a particularly messy
episode in my life and I did not sleep well or eat properly for weeks. It was
a dreadful time.

But what I realised was that it was doing me no good to loathe the
sight of them. I was truly suffering and I was sick to death of my boring
laments. I am pretty sure my friends were tired of hearing it all too. They
just wanted fun happy Zoë back. Me too.

So I invited Gabrielle out for a drink and told her it as 'ok'. The
relationship with 'Fred' was all but over anyway, and that was that. And it
was. I was done with it all. I wanted to be her friend and be happy again.
For me, it was over.

Not so for Gabrielle. She obviously held on to her suffering for years.
When she apologised a few weeks ago, I felt only sadness that she had
beat herself up for 8 long years.

In this way she suffered a thousand times for an incident long gone. First
when it happened, and then through the years of self-inflicted guilt,
remorse, and shame.

As or me, I am so glad I did not wait for an apology to be done with it all.
I did not need Gabrielle's apology in order to forgive her. Forgiveness was
my gift to myself. I did not want to suffer through any more ill feelings
towards her or Fred. The only way out of that pain was to forgive.

My forgiving her did not seem to help Gabrielle. Relief was only going to
come when she forgave herself.

Why do people find it so much harder to forgive themselves than they
do to forgive others?

There's a belief in this that says, "suffering will make amends". Equal pain
or more for causing pain to an another. An eye for an eye

You've heard it before form Gandhi: an eye for an eye leaves the world
blind. Suffering does nothing but anchor a person in the weighty mess of
the past. It relieves nothing, and it helps no one.

So how do you 'get over it' and 'move on'?

First an understanding of forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not condoning anything. It does not imply tacit approval.

Forgiveness is a transmutation of energy from the anchor of suffering
to a creative positive force. When you decide to forgive, what you are
really doing is making a decision to let go of the energy of the past, and
rejoin the flow of life.

But how do you get to the place of forgiveness, when the deed that was
done was heinous? First of all the deed is done. It's gone.The hurt, real and
imagined, is done. What you need to decide is to make something good
come of it. You cannot change the past, but you sure as heck can choose a
new future.

This is the script I use to forgive - either myself or others:

"I am sorry [fill in the blank] for the pain I caused you/ you caused me. I
acknowledge that it is done and I cannot change what happened.

What I pledge now is to learn from what happened. I've learned that [fill in
the blank]. I now commit to doing something good as a result, whether for
you, for me, or for others. I honour the memory of what happened by
committing to this new path."

So if you are hanging on to past wrongs, done by you or to you, isn't it
time you let yourself feel good again?

Please, find some peace in your life and give yourself the gift of
forgiveness.

Best wishes,

Zoë

Stuff that works

Law of Attraction Superhighway

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Featured Link: Sparkling Misadventures

I love inspiring stories. My friend and fellow coach, Brenda Rogers, took
up an opportunity that rocks whilst having a beer in the pub. No, not
THAT kind of opportunity! She was offered a spot to crew on a ship from
Australia to Hawaii. A few weeks later, house packed up and life
re-scheduled, Brenda is having a wickedly wonderful time. You can read
all about it here:
http:/sparklingmisadventures.blogspot.com

Book Review: Lynne McTaggart's The Intention Experiment

Following on from The field, in the Intention Experiment McTaggart adds a large collection of scientific research on the effect of deliberate intention on different outcomes, such as the ability to make a plant grow, or to heal a
person. I spent much of the book waiting to get to the juicy part: this is
where she explains how to set a deliberate intention, and how to join in the
global experiments.

All I can say is that I was a little disappointed with the book. The 'how to'
part of the book had nothing new:
To send out powerful intentions you need to choose a quiet space free
from electronic distractions, get in to the right vibe or mood through
exercises like meditation, then visualise and be specific about your desire.

The biggest disappointment were the two cursory paragraphs she includes
on beliefs and 'moving aside'. She simply says that the experiment is far
more effective when you believe what you are doing will have an effect,
and that you need to get your ego out of the way and allow things to
happen. These are the two biggest stumbling blocks people have in law of
attraction practice! I would have liked a heap more on this aspect.

Should you get it? Yes - it is worth a read, and it is also cool that it is
linked in to a global experiment roster that you can checkout here:
www.theintentionexperiment.com.

If nothing else, McTaggart brings sience,and therefore a touch of
mainstream credibility, to Law of Attraction studies and practice.

 Laser Thoughts

"Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to theone who forgives." - Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a
habit." -  Peter Ustinov

"If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others 
 - Dolores Huerta

"Life is an adventure in forgiveness." -  Norman Cousins

Thanks for reading!

Zoë