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How do I change a belief about myself? |
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"Susan" explained how she was terrified of upsetting other people. She feared that they would judge her, reject her, and then desert her.
After some discussion, Susan revealed there were parts of herself she really did not like, and judged herself harshly for her alleged faults. Susan knew she had a tendency to perfectionism and was afraid of letting people down if her work was less than perfect. She was terrified of revealing this aspect of herself in case anyone agreed with her, critiqued her work, and exposed her as less-than-competent.
Susan realised that if she was ever going to feel safe around people again, then she needed to start accepting herself, warts and all, so that she did not cower in the corner and hide herself away. She could not expect people to accept her and not judge her if she judged and rejected herself. In this way, Susan realised that other people were simply a reflection of her own inner dialogue.
The good part about this realisation was that if she changed the way she thought and felt about herself, then her relationships with other people would change too.
But how do you change a belief that has been around so long it is woven in to the very fabric of the mind?
Therein lies the rub.
Changing beliefs is not as easy as simply pulling out one CD and inserting another one to play instead. It can be that simple, but not always that easy.
Here are a couple of simple strategies you can implement today to re-craft your beliefs, and therefore the results you have in your life.
Change perspective. In Susan’s case, I asked her to consider any benefits she may have experienced as a result of her perfectionism. Being thorough was one. Being reliable was another. Being considered an expert in her field was a third. Acknowledging the benefits of a fault releases the pressure to judge oneself for having them in the first place.
Use the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). This is an active kinaesthetic technique where you purge your emotional response to a habitual thought pattern and replace it with a new more empowering thought pattern. As you repeat the old beliefs and then the new ones, you tap on a sequence of meridian points on the body. The idea is that you scramble the old thought patterns and enhance the new ones. You can learn about this simple, free technique here: www.emofree.com
Scripting. This is where you right out longhand an alternative situation or belief. In great detail, outline what you would like instead of the current situation. Fill the description with positive thoughts and feelings. This way you give your imagination the scope and power to create an alternate solution to your current and habitual pattern. When you invoke the script with powerful positive feelings, then it becomes even more real. The more often you write about it and re-read what you write, then the more real it becomes to you. Repeat, repeat, repeat, and you will start to imagine that this new reality is indeed possible.
There are plenty of ways to change beliefs. Some may work better than others, and a combination of techniques may be the best solution. Whichever technique you implement, repetition, repetition, repetition is the key to long-term success.
Don't believe me?Try one of the technques on that belief!
Copyright 2007 Zoe Routh.
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